Pigflownart Narnarwit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unselfish troll.

Pigflownart Narnarwit created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigflownart Narnarwit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pigflownart Narnarwit, he will not invite you to parties.

Pigflownart Narnarwit's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Pigflownart Narnarwit's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not name children after monkeys.

4. Never sprint in the presence of shrews.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.