Yattig is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, almighty beaver.

Yattig created Asia two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yattig, she will boil you in a big pot.

Yattig's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Yattig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always remove stockings before entering holy places.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Pray towards the north.