Satbogmad Spagtoftof is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, omnipotent dog.

Satbogmad Spagtoftof created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Satbogmad Spagtoftof, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Satbogmad Spagtoftof, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Satbogmad Spagtoftof's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Satbogmad Spagtoftof's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Retreat if five tapirs approach from the north.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Pray towards the west.