Jadkabvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, idiotic scorpion.

Jadkabvonk created the planet Mars twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jadkabvonk, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jadkabvonk, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Jadkabvonk's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Jadkabvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Jadkabvonk must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Jadkabvonk loves cats, so they must be respected.