Fedwigcim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest goat.

Fedwigcim created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Fedwigcim, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fedwigcim, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Fedwigcim's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Fedwigcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of pineapples to geese while wearing red dresses.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Run away from pink mice, for they are unholy.