Taildisston is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, vain horse.

Taildisston created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taildisston, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Taildisston, he will remove you from existence.

Taildisston's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Taildisston's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven pigs approach from the north.

2. Taildisston loves bats, so they must be respected.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never play with disobedient children.