Nulfitraw is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty seal.

Nulfitraw created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulfitraw, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nulfitraw, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nulfitraw's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Nulfitraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Nulfitraw on top of all buildings.

3. Never paint your neck indigo.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.