Japlopcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a large, sapient rat.

Japlopcuss created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Japlopcuss, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Japlopcuss, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Japlopcuss' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Japlopcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face mauve.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about pigs.