Bonkcudgen is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely small, merciless
cat.
Bonkcudgen created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Bonkcudgen, he will look after you all your life.
If you do not believe in
Bonkcudgen, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.
Bonkcudgen's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.
Bonkcudgen's Holy Commandments1. Do not chop down trees.
2. Always help sick swans.
3. Tapirs are not to be trusted.
4. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.
5. Always help dogs.