Bonkcudgen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciless cat.

Bonkcudgen created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkcudgen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bonkcudgen, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bonkcudgen's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bonkcudgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always help sick swans.

3. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

5. Always help dogs.