Standangiglipponbit is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, calm naga.

Standangiglipponbit created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Standangiglipponbit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Standangiglipponbit, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Standangiglipponbit's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Standangiglipponbit's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow voles, for they are unholy.

2. Always look after injured geese.

3. Feed all hungry turtles.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics.