Fascemcan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy eagle.

Fascemcan created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Fascemcan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fascemcan, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fascemcan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Fascemcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick seals.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Never talk about tortoises.

4. Hide if three ducks approach from the south.

5. Always help cats in need.