Tigflowflan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, quiet gorilla.

Tigflowflan created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Tigflowflan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tigflowflan, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tigflowflan's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tigflowflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Tigflowflan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

4. You must love Tigflowflan.

5. Do not kill hamsters.