Pagarfjab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unfair mole.

Pagarfjab created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagarfjab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pagarfjab, she will ignore you.

Pagarfjab's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Pagarfjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about pigs.

2. Never wear yellow kilts.

3. Hide if four ducks approach from the south.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help mites in need.