Flab is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody crow.

Flab created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flab, it will destroy your favourite star.

Flab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Flab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine tortoises in a large pit.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism.

4. Never sit near capybaras.

5. Never look in ponds.