Higsaflan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, grumpy clam.

Higsaflan created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higsaflan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Higsaflan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Higsaflan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Higsaflan's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never sit near pigs.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Higsaflan must be the most important thing in your life.