Vonstafkim is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, all-knowing lobster.

Vonstafkim created silver six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonstafkim, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vonstafkim, it will turn you into a rat.

Vonstafkim's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Vonstafkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vonstafkim.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.