Gabnatfad Podbotquag is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, blissful dolphin.

Gabnatfad Podbotquag created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gabnatfad Podbotquag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gabnatfad Podbotquag, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gabnatfad Podbotquag's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gabnatfad Podbotquag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing purple shoes and balancing eight platinum spheres on your neck.