Karpadmin is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unsympathetic alligator.

Karpadmin created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Karpadmin, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Karpadmin, it will turn you into a goat.

Karpadmin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Karpadmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near pigs while wearing indigo boots and balancing nine copper spheres on your hands.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never feed bananas to seals while wearing shoes.