Fagtifmonwan is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, capable skunk.

Fagtifmonwan created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagtifmonwan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fagtifmonwan, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fagtifmonwan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Fagtifmonwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never feed lots of grapes to manatees while wearing mauve coats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.