Cepsisjen is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, wise turtle.

Cepsisjen created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepsisjen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cepsisjen, she will turn you into a slug.

Cepsisjen's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Cepsisjen's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cepsisjen.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always help whales in need.

5. Hide from indigo dogs for they are unholy.