Jattarpzak is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, intelligent donkey.

Jattarpzak created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jattarpzak, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jattarpzak, it will cry a lot.

Jattarpzak's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Jattarpzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Jattarpzak's name in vain.

2. Hide if three goats approach from the west.

3. Do not wear violet clothing.

4. Jattarpzak loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

5. You must love Jattarpzak.