Pandognan is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, charitable mole.

Pandognan created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pandognan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pandognan, it will turn you into a frog.

Pandognan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Pandognan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs in need.

2. Never feed aubergines to foxes while wearing pink kilts.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Badgers are not to be trusted.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.