Fossadtim is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent aardvark.

Fossadtim created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fossadtim, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fossadtim, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fossadtim's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fossadtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near sheep.

2. Never sprint in the presence of tortoises.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.