Wab is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, vain tapir.

Wab created dark energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wab, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wab's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Wab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Worship no other gods but Wab.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics.