Bamtonkhimhengigkanvan is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, staggering hyena.

Bamtonkhimhengigkanvan created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamtonkhimhengigkanvan, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bamtonkhimhengigkanvan, it will think nothing of it.

Bamtonkhimhengigkanvan's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bamtonkhimhengigkanvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bamtonkhimhengigkanvan's name in vain.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never think about dark matter near goats while wearing mauve jumpers and balancing six copper spheres on your chest.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Never paint your arms black.