Vonkflaglid is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, moody porpoise.

Vonkflaglid created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkflaglid, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonkflaglid, he will cry a lot.

Vonkflaglid's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Vonkflaglid's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five ducks approach from the west.

2. Do not hurt whales.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Ants are not to be trusted.