Donpontabjapwon is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, thoughtless cow.

Donpontabjapwon created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donpontabjapwon, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Donpontabjapwon, it will be mildly annoyed.

Donpontabjapwon's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Donpontabjapwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not kill dolphins.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.