Parkwotkop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid elephant.

Parkwotkop created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Parkwotkop, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Parkwotkop, she will send minions to preach to you.

Parkwotkop's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Parkwotkop's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never play with disobedient children.