Dongepsis is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, wise meerkat.

Dongepsis created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Dongepsis, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dongepsis, it will turn you into a hamster.

Dongepsis' most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dongepsis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dongepsis.

5. Do not run in public.