Bamsidton is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, conceited eagle.

Bamsidton created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamsidton, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bamsidton, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bamsidton's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bamsidton's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Bamsidton in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed lots of lemons to hamsters while wearing magenta corsets.

3. Never feed onions to squirrels while wearing pink rings.

4. Bats are not to be trusted.

5. Put Bamsidton first in all things.