Cardun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, resourceful wren.

Cardun created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Cardun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cardun, he will remove you from existence.

Cardun's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Cardun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Cardun must be the most important thing in your life.