Witfebwab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional raccoon.

Witfebwab created the Sombrero Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witfebwab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Witfebwab, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Witfebwab's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Witfebwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Retreat if eight moths approach from the south.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.