Raphapcut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, slow mongoose.

Raphapcut created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Raphapcut, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Raphapcut, she will be mildly annoyed.

Raphapcut's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Raphapcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never run in the presence of great tits.

3. Never skip near hamsters.

4. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Raphapcut in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.