Mifwanven is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic gerbil.

Mifwanven created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifwanven, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mifwanven, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Mifwanven's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Mifwanven's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near porpoises while wearing purple hats and balancing nine silver spheres on your hands.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Mifwanven in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never wear coats.