Midratzogquag is a god.

She takes the form of a small, quiet gnu.

Midratzogquag created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midratzogquag, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Midratzogquag, she will come to you in dreams.

Midratzogquag's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Midratzogquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near sheep while wearing brown shorts.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.