Ditshavhak is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, ill-tempered fairy.

Ditshavhak created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditshavhak, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ditshavhak, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ditshavhak's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ditshavhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Run away if seven gulls approach from the south.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near squirrels while wearing indigo shirts and balancing six silver spheres on your head.

5. Learn five new languages a year.