Nelzogjamfomfatmipvadnel is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, sapient bee.

Nelzogjamfomfatmipvadnel created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nelzogjamfomfatmipvadnel, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nelzogjamfomfatmipvadnel, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nelzogjamfomfatmipvadnel's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nelzogjamfomfatmipvadnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into cyan rooms.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about fire.