Vollabpib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying bear.

Vollabpib created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vollabpib, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vollabpib, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vollabpib's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Vollabpib's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Vollabpib in the centre of the settlement.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Vollabpib in the centre of the settlement.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.