Tiftifdad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, astonishing chinchilla.

Tiftifdad created the Andromeda Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiftifdad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tiftifdad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tiftifdad's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Tiftifdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about electromagnetism.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near great tits while wearing turquoise coats and balancing four iron spheres on your neck.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never wear mauve trousers.