Bifstikdogpadsugbum is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, proud whale.

Bifstikdogpadsugbum created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifstikdogpadsugbum, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bifstikdogpadsugbum, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bifstikdogpadsugbum's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bifstikdogpadsugbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill horses.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never wear jumpers.