Ontbonkdotflambam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, sapient meerkat.

Ontbonkdotflambam created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontbonkdotflambam, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ontbonkdotflambam, he will remove you from existence.

Ontbonkdotflambam's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Ontbonkdotflambam's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry nematodes.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

4. Retreat if eight monkeys approach from the south.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near moths while wearing indigo tights and balancing nine silver spheres on your head.