Cetgutcem is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-knowing crane.

Cetgutcem created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetgutcem, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cetgutcem, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cetgutcem's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Cetgutcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to voles while wearing shorts.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.