Watjenkam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate troll.

Watjenkam created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Watjenkam, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Watjenkam, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Watjenkam's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Watjenkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill goats.

2. You must love Watjenkam.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.