Ruttvollarnbagyam is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, able eagle.

Ruttvollarnbagyam created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttvollarnbagyam, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ruttvollarnbagyam, it will turn you into a puffin.

Ruttvollarnbagyam's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Ruttvollarnbagyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill turtles.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never wear turquoise shirts.