Nilsabflab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, tiresome dryad.

Nilsabflab created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilsabflab, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nilsabflab, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nilsabflab's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Nilsabflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Erect a giant red sculpture of Nilsabflab in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never feed coconuts to aardvarks while wearing jumpers.