Japlarpciss is a god.
He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witty
coyote.
Japlarpciss created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Japlarpciss, he will give you the power of flight.
If you do not believe in
Japlarpciss, he will turn you into a hamster.
Japlarpciss' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.
Japlarpciss' Holy Commandments1. Fast once a month.
2. Always take life seriously.
3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.
4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.
5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.