Yogkikdid Labbagjab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, tiresome centaur.

Yogkikdid Labbagjab created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogkikdid Labbagjab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yogkikdid Labbagjab, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yogkikdid Labbagjab's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Yogkikdid Labbagjab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Yogkikdid Labbagjab in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Never hurt tortoises.

5. Do not keep three tapirs in a large pit.