Rutdissnut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, narcissistic snail.

Rutdissnut created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutdissnut, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rutdissnut, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rutdissnut's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Rutdissnut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tapirs.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Never chant in the presence of rats.

4. Rutdissnut loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not keep nine moths in a large pit.