Jiptomlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, annoying swan.

Jiptomlarp created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jiptomlarp, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jiptomlarp, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jiptomlarp's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Jiptomlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tortoises.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never feed apples to capybaras while wearing green dresses.

5. Do not make images of living things.