Dinquarttettiflat is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, strong newt.

Dinquarttettiflat created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinquarttettiflat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dinquarttettiflat, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dinquarttettiflat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Dinquarttettiflat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Dinquarttettiflat on top of all buildings.

5. Always look after injured ants.